So...I've been absent from Blogland for a long long time it seems. After all, the final installment of Harry Potter has long been read, discussed, re-read, rehashed and put to rest for now. It seems however that between my crazy schedule at home and a trip to visit a friend in Ohio, my body decided it was time to rest. A "viral syndrome" the doctor called it, even after taking 8 gallons of blood. I'm pretty sure she was actually dracula and that I was her unsuspecting, weakened victim.Seriously, though, it reminded me of my dad - not the sickness, but the diagnosis. He was a big believer that when doctors have no idea what is going on, they test you, poke you and tell you it's a virus. I'm with you dad, I'm with you...
But, that is old news, and I am back. All that resting gives a gal a lot of time to think, though I must admit it was weakened thinking between the "I'm cold!" and "I'm hot!" Thanks to some good advice, the suffering moments were less intense when I refocused my thoughts to those who suffer far more than I and need my prayer and my sacrifice. I had recently bought a new crucifix which was hanging on my wall right across from where I lay, and I must admit, I think I had some rather lucid conversations with it as well. No worries, Jesus did not come up off the cross in a hallucination, I promise.
What this episode made me realize, though, is that if I don't take time off to rest and re-energize, my body will make time, and not in ways I'd prefer. It comes down to priorities - I cannot be all things to all people, not even at work. It's a matter of putting into practice the belief that it's not all about me (though when I'm sick, I admit I might lose that perspective), and that I am not the answer to all the world's problems. I'm here on earth to share the gifts I have, but also to identify and empower others to share their gifts. Part of that is realizing when I cannot share what I have, simply because I need to take time to regroup, be it mentally, spiritually or physically.
It's not about getting old, it's about getting smarter with my resources. I'm a steward not only of the material gifts God has given me, but of my own talents and body. If I don't take care of what I have, I won't have anything left to share, and then where does that leave me...or my quest to share Christ with the world? So, from this point forward, I know I'm going to disappoint some people by pulling back and not giving my 150% - I'm going to have to learn to live with that. In the end, though, what I give will be stronger and more focused, and I think that is far more important. Now I just have to remember all this when the schedule starts filling up again... :)
More blogs to come now that I'm back, but that's all for this installment. Keep on rockin' the world folks!

Though the image above was not the particular one the priest referenced during his homily this past weekend, it was as close to the image that I could find. The photo that had been etched in his memory forever was from a small gazette - it was of a black woman shielding a KKK member from harm when an angry mob had formed to retaliate against him. This was the photo he had us imagine as we placed ourselves back in time, into the story of the Good Samaritan, to understand exactly what the relations between the different segments of society were. Now, perhaps the parallel is a little harsher than deserved, but it most definitely provoked thought.
How many of us would defend another's life, especially a person who we were certain would not only not defend us, but would do us harm if given the chance? I must admit, it gave me a moment's pause. The image above was the first and only one I could find that was even remotely similar to the story I heard. As I was searching endlessly, the images that came up were horrific - I literally became nauseous at the sight of them, and was quick to delete my computer history. Could I turn around, then, and love a person that evoked such reactions? If we are to remain true to the Gospel teaching, that is exactly what we are called to do (though it might more closely follow Matthew 5:43 than the Good Samaritan story). Holy cow!
Again, I go back to that soft image of Jesus that we see portrayed so often today. It is not a "soft" Jesus that challenges us to love in this radical and completely selfless way. It is a man who knew what it was to pour out his life in love for people who beat him, spat upon him, and sentenced him to death. In short, He calls us to do no less than Him, but He also walks with us and gives us the grace we need if we are open to it. That's a big "if" in some moments of great risk...

As indicting as it was of our own prejudice and faithlessness, that was not the only thought to penetrate the Sunday morning haze in my mind. Going beyond your average Good Samaritan story analysis, the next person we were asked to imagine ourselves in the place of was the injured man. The next question: how often do we allow ourselves to be helped? In a culture that demands independence and individualism, the question is not only whether we help others, but whether we allow others to help us in a time of need.
It becomes a matter of ego and pride to say we can do it all, all the time. To be faithful to the community of Christ and our interconnectedness, it is just as important to humble ourselves and allow others into our vulnerability as it is to extend ourselves beyond our limitations to lift up another. It is a give and a take, or the community does not function. Again, I admit that I have my own failings in this regard as well. Faith doesn't always call us to be strong - sometimes it calls us to be broken, to share in the cross of Christ, to allow Christ to lift us up to redemption. That is humbling and often difficult in a society where we are taught that weakness is bad and we should "save face" at all costs.
So, the weekend began with an evening watching the 1995 A&E Pride & Prejudice with friends, during which time RB kept asking what was pride and what was prejudice. Well, I hope we answered him satisfactorily that evening. I, for one, had to re-think the whole matter after these thoughts rested awhile in my soul...

from ABC's Good Morning America
It was just a typical day on the job at the Pizza Hut in Angola, Ind., for 20-year-old Jessica Osborne when out of the blue, she received a gift that would change her life: a $10,000 tip from one of her customers. "When I opened it up, I just — I thought maybe I read too many zeros and I lost my breath," Osborne said on "Good Morning America." "It was amazing."Osborne got to know Becky and her family through their weekly pizza dinners, but she didn't realize that they had recently suffered a great tragedy. Becky's husband and eldest daughter were killed in a car accident, and she had been left with a large settlement. Once Becky heard about Osborne's broken dreams, she decided to use some of the money from the settlement to make them come true. "We decided we needed to help Jessica and she was there, we were there, and it just seemed like the right thing to do," Becky said.
It could well just be the fact that I was awoken by the fighting of my neighbors this morning well before my usual moment to rise and shine, and the fact that the drama continued for hours into the day. I think as far as that goes, it's more the internal struggle of what my role is as their physical neighbor. On the one hand, I don't want to get involved - it really is not my business. But on the other hand, I feel called to do something. It just doesn't seem right to sit next door and listen to it all happen. I'm at a loss, truly, and maybe that is where the bit of sadness comes from.

Part of me also wonders how long life can be as good as it has been. I know, I know, God is good and unbelievably gracious, so it can continue to be good for far longer than I can imagine. And certainly, my perspective on the "good life" has changed over the years! Still, perhaps it is from watching another's life fall apart, but it begins to shake my faith in what I know of life.

I suppose these are the moments in which prayer is the only way out, moments where all you can do is rest in Jesus and realize that it is out of your own hands, and in His, and that is ultimately more satisfying than anything else. Still the fear remains, feeding on years of old bad habits of doubt and self-loathing. It's a comfort to know that the saintliest of saints had the same doubts. I know that it comes from a place that is not of God, and they say knowing is half the battle.
So as I lay down my weary head tonight, I pray that the morning will chase away the darkness of fear and sadness. A new dawn brings a new spirit of hope, and I just pray that others may begin to know the hope that lies in a faith in Christ. I can't imagine living in this world without that faith to be my rock.

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that
I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire
in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I
may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be
lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"

As I was heating up my frozen dinner last night, little did I think that I would one day compare one of my organs to a microwave oven. I mean sure, there's the age old euphemism that refers to pregnancy as "having a bun in the oven," but I didn't ever think it might become somewhat literal! Shows you what I know. Science has once again mystified in its ... creative ... approaches to fertility and childbirth.
Perhaps you've heard that there will be a new Catholic glossary to help increase the average Catholic's literacy within Catholic-speak. Truly, I do think this is helpful, though I wonder if half the terms in there are really things that your every day Catholic would need or want to know. Who knows - perhaps it will come in handy when we create our own version of Catholic Jeopardy or Trivial Pursuit. OOOH! Better yet - Catholic Scrabble! ;)However, my real question is this: Given the news in a recent article by the Catholic News Service, will the term "chimera" be included? As defined in this article, a "chimera" is a human embryo implanted with animal cells. According to the Catholic bishops, chimeras should receive human status. No, I'm not kidding. This is not some 1970s science fiction film gone awry. This is based on a proposal under consideration in the British Parliament. (I'm still checking my calendar to see if we've gone back to April, though.)
Anyone else feel a scene from MST3K coming on? Or perhaps the Bride of Frankenstein? Maybe a chorus from "Insane in the Membrane" would be more appropro. I'm really still hoping against hope that this is just a spoof - something illustrating that quirky British humor that I don't always get, but makes me laugh eventually just the same. Please, someone oh someone show me some purpose for this proposal that isn't just plain disturbing!
(Oh, and can you also answer me this? Why bring up gay adoption while discussing the creation of these chimeras and their rights as humans? Yes, I realize gay adoption is a rather sensitive topic in the Church right now, but really - putting that at the end of the same proposal that is talking about intermingling human and non-human DNA is a bit cheap and undignified.)
the Rakstar
Well, it looks like the Vatican is now taking on the role of Transportation Authority...or that is at least how the media would like it to look. Following the reports posted today on many online newsjournals about the issuance of the new "Ten Commandments" of Driving by the Vatican, readers have responded in an alarmingly hostile and critical way. Even some of my Catholic friends say the Vatican should be making reports on more important matters. I must admit, even my first thought was a critical, "Are you kidding me??"
This whole diatribe actually is precisely what the Holy Father spoke of in a recent address. As people of faith, we encounter an opportunity - God has always given us a choice. We can either choose to respond with hope and faith, seeking to understand the good, or we can choose to respond with skepticism, satisfied to mock and criticize. As the baptised faithful, we are called to be a people of hope, the light of the world. So, although I admit my first inclination was to question if such a statement was necessary, as I get on the road, I may actually think a little bit more deeply about how I live out my faith behind the wheel. And that, friends, is what I think the whole point of this report was about. Oh, and for the "interesting" commenter on msnbc who felt that praying while driving would just mean more drivers with their eyes closed and hands off the wheel...look for a blog on the meaning of prayer as a relationship, not as a posture. :)
Just for kicks, here's a list of the other news headlines and statments coming out of the Vatican this week...I didn't notice any big headlines in our major news sources about them:
[2007-06-19] Pope Meets With Chrysosotomos II
[2007-06-19] Benedict XVI Mourns Death of Cardinal Felici
[2007-06-19] Vatican Speaks Up on Road Rage
[2007-06-19] Peace Day to Focus on Family
[2007-06-19] Director General Named for Vatican Bank
[2007-06-19] Mexico Introduces Euthanasia Legislation
[2007-06-19] Caritas Worker Killed in Darfur
[2007-06-19] Moving Away From Religion Toward Christianity
[2007-06-19] Why No Litanies at a Wedding
[2007-06-19] Pastoral Care of the Road
[2007-06-18] Spirit of Assisi Is Not Syncretism, Affirms Pope
[2007-06-18] Benedict XVI to Youth: Open the Doors to Christ
[2007-06-18] Pope Urges Franciscans to Proclaim Christ
[2007-06-18] Cardinal: Challenge Is Linking Culture and Faith
[2007-06-18] Marriage and Religion: a Package Deal
[2007-06-18] Abducted Priest Released in Baghdad
[2007-06-18] Catholic School and Convent Ransacked in Gaza
[2007-06-18] Faith, Reason and Bioethics
To see other Vatican reports, news, addresses and statements, visit http://www.catholicnews.com/, http://www.zenit.org/, or go straight to the Vatican at http://www.vatican.va/.
Many of you, (well, if anyone is reading this, then many of you) might recognize the title as a reference to Harry Potter. Now, before any chastizing begins, let me explain that I am not a crazy fan of the books and movies. Ok, now the chastizing can start, because I will admit that I am a fan. I know, I know, there was some scuttlebutt a few years ago about how Pope Benedict XVI was against reading the books. (Though the truth came out later that his statements were a response to a very specific letter he received and he did not condemn the books as a whole...funny how that happens.) I also hear the Pope doesn't like rock music, but that would be another digression, and I've already had one, and I really am trying to keep them to a minimum!I suppose I understand the fear that the books promote the use of supernatural powers that may/may not exist, or somehow promote the use of dark powers. I can't dispute that there exists the possibility that someone might read the series and take an affinity for magic out of it, however, I'm not convinced that the fears are well founded given my experience amidst fans of the books.
As I began to read the books a few years ago (yes, I did actually hold out on the craze for a few years), what I found was a creative way to introduce the ideas of good and evil, the battle that exists between them, and the inherent value in giving of oneself for the benefit of others, even to the point of death. What I found was great discussion between readers of all ages, from youth to the aged, about the reality of those struggles set in the context of the life of a young boy no one really knew.Clearly, at least I certainly hope it is clear, we as Catholics tell our story of Jesus Christ, Son of Man and Son of God, and the miraculous things he did, how he laid down his life out of love for a people who betrayed Him, and of course how He defeated death itself. That is the beautiful story we have to share. That does not however preclude others from creatively sharing stories that share common themes.
Dying out of love for another, being sealed with the sign of that deep selfless love and protected by it, being called to live for something greater than oneself, learning to die to self, to close our minds to evil, battling temptation and pride, trusting in true friendship...these are all storylines and character developments found in the series. Each of these are issues that young people struggle with and/or should be talking about. Given some of the other drivel that is out there, I'm for one glad that Harry Potter has caused a stir!
Should he replace a conversation about Christ? Well, of course not! What he can do, though, is offer another opportunity to talk about Christian ideals, open a door to talk about values that we don't see or hear enough of in today's society - at least not prominently displayed. So, as I wait for the final book and the fifth movie to come out, I say "hooray" for the "boy who lived" for refueling the discussion about values in popular culture, especially among the youth.
I was reading back over my last post and realized that a couple of ideas were let loose without much of a context. In reading through the beginning of my comments, it could seem that I am asserting that Jesus Christ is not a comforter. Now, clearly, I'm not talking down comforter here. My point was merely that the media has contorted that beautiful image of comfort into a Jesus that takes no stand at all, but comes to keep us comfortable where we are. That is not the comforter I know Christ to be.
I was sharing this with someone recently, and they likened it to the image of Jesus with the beloved disciple at the Last Supper, with the disciple resting his head on Christ's chest. In that same week, I was listening to someone speak at a conference, and he referenced that same relationship and image to encourage us to take time to be with Christ, to stop speaking long enough to just be with him. As I reflect on how that relationship develops, I wonder if those who become passionately embroiled in the business of sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ don't first get to know him as a Lord who comforts, heals and transforms.
Christ tells us differently. In Matthew 11:28, Christ invites us to find refuge in him when the world seems too much. "Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Who are we to claim that life is just too hard? Jesus, the man who was condemned to death, who has become our Savior, the one through whom death was conquered, calls us to him in those moments. Christ, our Comforter, promises us respite from the storm. In exchange, he asks only one thing - everything. Daunting? You bet! Are we alone in it? Heck, no! His promise of comfort and respite is everlasting. "I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you," he promises us in John 14:18. Often times we see a Jesus of comfort portrayed in Church and in media. The Jesus who says I love you just as you are, but leaves out the Jesus who says, but I call you to come further with me and be better. Have we shaped Jesus in the image of a man who will help us achieve our own political and moral ends, or do we still have a connection the the Jesus who resides fully in the Gospel, the Jesus who came so that we may have life and have it abundantly??
The more often I read the Gospels and the more I live and see of the world, I am beginning to believe that Christ has been hijacked (much like our solemn feasts, but that's a whole different story!). Yes, Christ does in fact love us - I don't for one second want to insinuate that this love is either conditional or false. What I want to do is look at what it really means - what does Christ's love mean in our lives?
We use the word love in American society as loosely as we do everything else. It is not a word used with care, and it has become tainted. The love that Christ gives is a gift, and though it does not come with conditions, it does come with challenges. To live in and for the love of Christ calls us to task more often than we would like. Yet, in our post-modern culture, love of a person has come to mean that challenging them to do better is to not affirm the person they are. If we are, as Catholics and Christians to pattern our life after Christ's love, that kind of love dishonors the heritage of Love we share.
The Jesus of the scriptures was not tolerant. He was compassionate and merciful, yes. He ate with sinners, he suffered with his friends and with strangers. What he did not do, however, was tolerate attitudes and behaviors that maligned God. "Go and sin no more" was always the challenge.
The Jesus of the scriptures was not unconditionally accepting and affirming. Yes, He always accepted and affirmed the inherent dignity and worth of every person, created in the image and likeness of His Father, but not always did he accept or affirm their behaviors.
The Jesus of the scriptures had righteous anger. Jesus called people to task. Christ's first concern was not being liked - it was converting hearts to a deep and true love of God. He was not popular by our standards, but he was always authentic and those who were able to strip themselves of their own pride and understanding were drawn to Him and the Truth and mercy He shared.
Our young people are no different. They are reacting now in the same way. The freedoms and joys promised by the sexual revolution, individualism, materialism, commercialization and the relativism of "I'm okay, you're okay" have not been realized. Instead of leading to greater happiness, those promises have led to a more chaotic struggle. Our young people are often finding that they are not okay, that they continue to search and thirst for something to fill a void in their lives.
What they seek are the timeless Truths, that which has stood firm against the test of time and criticism, the rock amidst the storm. They are seeking fulfilled promises, unconditional love and unending peace. What they are realizing for themselves is that there is one person throughout all of history who can give them what they are seeking - Jesus Christ.
Make no mistake, though. "The Way Things Were" is not their anthem song. This is not a regression in the deep recesses of the past in an effort to relive tenets that we've long since abandoned. It is a reclaiming of the faith that went before them, traditions and adherences that were brushed aside in the tide of change but never restored fully. It is discovering the past and infusing it into a faith that is constantly growing.
So...what is it we/they seek? I think it can be summed up pretty simply. They are not looking for a feel-good faith - they are seeking what is good.

