Between scheduling some days off and getting all nostalgic in the last post, I began to think about the great summer vacations of yore...or yesteryear - either sounds like more idyllic times than the giant whirlwind that dominates my appointment book in the present. In fact, I can't think of the last time I even took a real summer vacation. I'm not talking a few days off here and there where I get things done around the house, or have guests - I mean the classic "get in your car, take a roadtrip and don't deal with the 'real world' for at least" a week kind. Ok, ok, I suppose the spring trip to Ireland a couple years ago could challenge that last statement, and maybe the fall cruise 6 years ago, but that was twice in the last 10 years (and technically they weren't "summer" vacations).

Any grand excursions in the past 10 years (minus Ireland & the cruise) have all revolved around my conference schedule. Going to San Francisco for a conference? Great! I'll take an extra day or two to see it. Vancouver, B.C., Orlando, Boston, New York, New Orleans, Dallas, Chicago...all the same. Now don't get me wrong - it's a great way to get to see places and I loved the opportunities, but a vacation it is not.

Have we [and by we, I really mean "I"] gotten so busy that we forget that part of the greatness of life is to actually enjoy it? Working for the Church, it sometimes gets difficult to say no to things, even if they are meetings, because it all somehow feels innately important...as though by missing an opportunity, you are somehow slacking on God's time. Yet, we are not so important that God's work would not get done if we took a little time off. I mean, even HE rested on the 7th day! A friend of mine reminds me that the Church, and Christianity for that matter, will survive without me.

Now I don't intend to extend that to the notion that we don't need to respond to what God calls us to do. As tempting as it seems at times, a vacation from life is not so grand. Knowing me, I'd get terribly bored, in fact. The fact of the matter is this though - the reason we burn out is because we let the candle burn too long...sometimes at both ends! To better shine our light, perhaps we need to give ourselves some room to breathe, and let someone else carry the torch for a while. (I know, I know...that was just a horrifying string of mixed light/fire metaphors)

Needless to say, I haven't mastered yet the balance of giving my all while still making time for the little things in life...including laudry, cleaning and all that jazz. In fact, maybe passing the torch means realizing that I can't find time to do all the household tasks and hiring a cleaning service from time to time when my schedule gets a little nutty. Either way, something's gotta give, as they say, and I'd rather it not be my sanity!

So, rather than get frustrated about not having time to take off to do the things I need or want to do, I suppose I will one day learn to plan ahead and set my limits. After all, it may seem against my nature to not be available when people need to meet, but this girl wouldn't mind the sweet smell of a good old-fashioned, weeklong, get-away-from-the-world summer vacation, either!

So...I've been absent from Blogland for a long long time it seems. After all, the final installment of Harry Potter has long been read, discussed, re-read, rehashed and put to rest for now. It seems however that between my crazy schedule at home and a trip to visit a friend in Ohio, my body decided it was time to rest. A "viral syndrome" the doctor called it, even after taking 8 gallons of blood. I'm pretty sure she was actually dracula and that I was her unsuspecting, weakened victim.

Seriously, though, it reminded me of my dad - not the sickness, but the diagnosis. He was a big believer that when doctors have no idea what is going on, they test you, poke you and tell you it's a virus. I'm with you dad, I'm with you...

But, that is old news, and I am back. All that resting gives a gal a lot of time to think, though I must admit it was weakened thinking between the "I'm cold!" and "I'm hot!" Thanks to some good advice, the suffering moments were less intense when I refocused my thoughts to those who suffer far more than I and need my prayer and my sacrifice. I had recently bought a new crucifix which was hanging on my wall right across from where I lay, and I must admit, I think I had some rather lucid conversations with it as well. No worries, Jesus did not come up off the cross in a hallucination, I promise.

What this episode made me realize, though, is that if I don't take time off to rest and re-energize, my body will make time, and not in ways I'd prefer. It comes down to priorities - I cannot be all things to all people, not even at work. It's a matter of putting into practice the belief that it's not all about me (though when I'm sick, I admit I might lose that perspective), and that I am not the answer to all the world's problems. I'm here on earth to share the gifts I have, but also to identify and empower others to share their gifts. Part of that is realizing when I cannot share what I have, simply because I need to take time to regroup, be it mentally, spiritually or physically.

It's not about getting old, it's about getting smarter with my resources. I'm a steward not only of the material gifts God has given me, but of my own talents and body. If I don't take care of what I have, I won't have anything left to share, and then where does that leave me...or my quest to share Christ with the world? So, from this point forward, I know I'm going to disappoint some people by pulling back and not giving my 150% - I'm going to have to learn to live with that. In the end, though, what I give will be stronger and more focused, and I think that is far more important. Now I just have to remember all this when the schedule starts filling up again... :)

More blogs to come now that I'm back, but that's all for this installment. Keep on rockin' the world folks!